Sunday, 6 March 2016


Writing this one feels a hell of a lot like tempting fate, and I reserve the right to change my mind on any of this at any time if I need but, I want to move on now and to do that I need to offload some baggage...

First of all I owe some apologies.

Sorry to everyone who I have been terrible at keeping in touch with. I am consistently shit at replying to messages and emails. I regularly have good intentions of taking a day out to write back and call back everyone but I fail to get it done every time. No excuses really beyond being a bit tired, a bit forgetful, and often these days just not often being in the mood to talk or think about anything much. During cancer treatment, writing and talking got me through but now it's becoming the last thing I want to do. I'm really sorry for being so rubbish, especially to all the people who regularly get in touch with me even when they hear nothing back.

Sorry in particular to my friend Kayla who has been working her arse off producing a documentary called Vincible about young adult cancer. I've been no help whatsoever. And another sorry in particular to Elliot who has been working his arse off setting up a charity in honour of my friend Rosie who died last year. I've been no help whatsoever.

Another sorry in particular to my friend Danielle who died a few weeks ago. I wanted to put in writing on this blog all about how amazing Danielle was. But I've not been able to face sitting down and writing another one of those posts. Maybe one day I will, but for now, just this: The Crazy Ones by Paloma Faith.

I'm also sorry to the people who have sent in blog posts for the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog and had to wait ages for me to upload them.

Generally a big, massive sorry to everyone!

Getting cancer turned my life upside down, and at times it broke me. But I am lucky enough to be here now and I will never take it for granted. I'm 1 hair cut, 2 nipple tattoos, a lipofill, and a few months running and dieting away from being finished with fixing up (as best as will be possible) the mess that breast cancer treatment made of my body. The events of the last 19 months have probably changed me forever but I don't want them to be part of my day to day life any more. New me just needs to get settled in "new normal" life.

I'm going to put this blog to bed for a while, also the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog. I'm leaving most of the online breast cancer groups I've been part of. I'll be unfollowing all the cancer accounts on Twitter and pages on Facebook. I'm not doing any more media stuff either hahahaha (soz Anne Robinson, soz!).

When I'm not working or sleeping, all I want to be doing is having fun with my amazing friends and boyfriend and dog. (BTW you should all expect me to be taking lots of photos. I need to replace all the ones around my house of me in that fucking wig.)

Lots of love, sorry again, and TTFN xx


  1. Sounds like an excellent idea. Thanks so much for the blog it really helped me get through the treatment but I too find myself needing to get away from all the cancer stuff I read. Time for something else. Enjoy yourself!x

  2. That's exactly what I did....

    Thinking becomes feelings becomes actions it and will multiply..

    If all you do is think and talk about cancer it's all you'll ever feel and have in your life...

    I don't want this shit to come back

    I don't want to talk about it anymore

    And yes... I'm fucking ok@!@!!

  3. Just to say I think you have been incredibly brave and strong, documenting all this in your blog. You are a great ambassador for awareness-raising of BC in younger women. And I think you have lost a shocking amount of friends to breast cancer in a very short amount of time. I have secondary BC and have done for over 4 years. My secondary support group has not lost a member yet (it's small but has been going for over a year). I see so much death online, but my experience has not been so bad. I really really hope you never have to ride this train, but just to say it's not sooooo bad on this side. But I totally understand why you want a cancer break- and you deserve it. X Laura

  4. Absolutely sounds a fantastic plan- enjoy your wonderful life, your blog inspired the hell out of me and I hope it remains on line. Sending much love xxx